Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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