i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize