Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
