I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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