8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
And then he peed in my hair
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