So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
