dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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