What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
