Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
