so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
two words: eviction party
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
