you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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