I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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