i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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