Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

***** fucked a guy with one hand last night

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently you make a good broom.

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(410): View more from Maryland

i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'

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(757): View more from Virginia

apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously

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(203): View more from Connecticut

spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi

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(862): View more from New Jersey

We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.

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