You really coming over, don't trick.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
