We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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