You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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