I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
