no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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