Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
