the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
