He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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