Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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