I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
