I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
my liver is dry heaving
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize