i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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