That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My penis needs a shock collar
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
