Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
