Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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