Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
