My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
