Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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