She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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