He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
