you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
