I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
