I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
