Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
