The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
