doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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