she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize