Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
