You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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