there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
