I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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