some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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