I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
