a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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