Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
