Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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