I'm drive I can fine osifer
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
