well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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