She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
