im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
