I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
