Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
