I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
