On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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