another moral hangover. fuck.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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