Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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