this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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