Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
